He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
