the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
