i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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