Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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