It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
