I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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