Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
