I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
