More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
