I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
