help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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