In the future we'll all be gay
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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