Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
