so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
