Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
