I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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