My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
