it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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