And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
