if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize