She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize