i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
