All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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