wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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