I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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