Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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