I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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