I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
