she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
3 2 1 whiskey
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
