Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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