It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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