I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize