so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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