His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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