I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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