you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize