im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
