Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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