Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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