Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
