please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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