i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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