I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
