As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
