relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
