You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
