Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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