i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
