God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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