i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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