Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
