are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
