so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
