your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
