I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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