i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
