wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
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i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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