i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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