Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
