forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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